Everyone’s healing journey is different. There is not one story alike nor is there one healing journey alike. No matter what type of abuse you have survived, the abuse often leaves behind deep, lingering wounds. No matter if you have survived abuse from a parent, a significant other, a family member, a friend, or someone you don’t even know, you are still worthy of healing and creating a better world for yourself. It won’t be easy, but your journey is worth it. The first and hardest step to beginning to heal is cutting ties. You must cut ties with toxic and abusive people no matter how hard it may feel at the time… You must open your eyes to the fact that it was not your fault. Being abused is never once your fault. However, you may feel the wounds deep for years and years to come. Abuse can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression, trouble forming and maintaining relationships, PTSD, and even health problems. But it does not have to be your lasting legacy.
You can rewrite your story. You can embrace the journey and heal your mind, body, and soul while also realizing the journey is an up and down journey. It’s okay to do it in waves. Just remember your motivation and your “why”.
Nearly 5 years ago I decided enough was enough. I finally had opened my eyes to how abusive and toxic someone close to me. For many years I thought their behavior was “normal” and it was because they loved me. Cutting off ties to this toxic person was just the beginning of a long, long journey to healing from years of abuse and trauma. Like many who have survived abuse, I would also believe that it was me. The truth is, it is not our fault at all. I was used for years as an excuse as to why the person treated me the way they did when in fact, it wasn’t me at all. It took me months after exiting the situation to open my eyes to the fact that I had been made to feel as if I had done something wrong. Giving our abusers more love and ruining ourself in the process out of fear thinking that they will stop or they will change is exactly what he or she wants in order to gain more power. Stepping back and no longer allowing someone to treat you inhumane is the right thing to do.
The journey of healing from abuse makes us revolutionize the way we think about relationships, self-love, self-respect, self-compassion, and overall, the world. We may be victims of abuse, but we are also so much more. We are survivors. We are warriors. We are strong. We are mighty.
It is your birthright to have healthy, respectful, and safe relationships. It is your right to be free of physical abuse, bodily harm, and fear. It is your right to not walk through life walking on eggshells or to please those around you. It is your right to live without fear of ridicule, threats, cruel words, mental abuse, or emotional abuse. Most importantly, it is your right to cut anyone you deem toxic or unworthy out of your life.
There is no denying that the effects of trauma and abuse can be life-altering. But there is still hope. You can work on loving yourself, cut all contact with your abuser, seek counseling or find a support group, and use your experience to gain new knowledge and resources. Remember that forgiveness to yourself is necessary, while forgiveness to your abuser is optional.
During the abuse, you may have been gaslighted and given a false reality. He or she may have gone to others and had them believe it was you. You were unstable and that you were “losing it”. Remember that you are not the crazy one. When you were so called “losing it”, it was truly you putting your foot down and knowing that you were tired of being kicked around.
You can channel your trauma and crisis into a life changing transformation. Don’t take this experience as a waste of time. Transform it into a life changing learning experience. You deserve better. You deserve to be respected, cherished, and loved in a healthy manor. Like a butterfly, you have been set free and can fly and reach anywhere your mind and heart desires.
I am proud of you, and you should be proud of you too.
Want to read more on my journey? Read more here.