Marriage and quarantine

If you are like most couples right now, you are staying inside your house with your significant other. Now there is no doubt there is love there, but you find yourself more on edge and more arguments stewing out of no where. We all love spending time with our significant other, but did we imagine we would be inside with them(and the kids) and only them for weeks on end? Probably not. I know I definitely didn’t. My husbands work like so many had closed due to public safety. Until Covid-19 begins to get better in California and the curve is flattened, we are not sure when he will be returning. The kids school has closed indefinitely and we are all home. Who would’ve thought that this would be 2020?

I love my husband, I really do. We have actually been enjoying our time together and making sure we each still have our own individual time. I’d be lying if I said it was all unicorns and rainbows though. We have definitely had a few moments where we have gotten frustrated and had to walk away. Being stuck inside for days on end can definitely begin to effect a relationship. It will test you both mentally and emotionally. It will cause fights and arguments over the littlest things. Don’t let it win though, make the most of the situation!

Spend quality time together. Don’t just sit around and bury yourself into your phone. Put the phone down and spend quality time with your spouse. Watch a movie, make dinner together, play a board game, or even have a paint night! You may not be able to go out and do your usual date night routine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an in-home date night!

Listen, communicate, and understand. This is hard for everyone. We are learning a whole new normal. Many of us are stressed. Many of us are worn out. Many of us are nervous of the unknown. Listen to your spouses concerns, communicate your feelings, and be understanding. Your spouse just jumped on you in the kitchen for something small? Brush it off and move on.

Don’t let the little things get to you. My husband will be the first one to remind me not to let the little things get to me. The other day I began to get irritated over washable paint that landed on our carpet and my husband just looked at me laughing. I was so on edge after a day full of the kids not listening and being wild inside, I had began to take it out on him. He looked at me and reminded me it was washable and to just have fun. Living with someone is a huge adjustment but being with someone 24/7 for days is whole other adjustment. Remember that the little things are not worth the fight.

Don’t take the time for granted. When all of this began, I was irritated and frustrated. It has completely changed our lives and caused so much stress. When Matthew’s work decided to close it added even more stress but than I realized something. What if this is a blessing in disguise? In truth, we will probably never spend this much quality time as a family ever again. So I am going to cherish this time, take the extra precautions to stay safe, and remember that the important times we will remember years down the road will be the ones spent together. So often we get so busy in life, work, events, etc, we aren’t able to slow down and truly enjoy each other. Don’t take this forced time for granted.

I know some married couples will claim they rarely if ever argue which is great. Even the strongest couples have their moments though. With shelter orders in place and having to quarantine in your house for at least a few more weeks, the chance of arguments is pretty high. Don’t let them win, be stronger than the little things and remember to take this time to spend quality time with each other. Make your spouse breakfast in bed and have a lazy day. Get creative and tackle those house projects as a team. Put the kids to bed and have a fun date night. Make the most out of this time! Years down the road we will all laugh at 2020 but remember the time we spent together.

Xoxo

Christian

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