I am on a plane thousands of miles in the air and it set in. I was going on a solo trip, the first one I have had in over 6 years. I was so excited, but then it set it. Mom guilt. My kids were at home with dad. While I knew they were going to have a blast with dad, I still felt so guilty for enjoying myself without them. I felt guilt for enjoying a weekend away because after all, I am a mom? Mom guilt hits at the most terrible times. It puts a pit in your stomach and makes you want to stop what you are doing. But don’t let it over come you, even moms deserve to have fun. Even moms deserve a fun getaway, to go shop for themselves alone, or even just go get their nails done. We deserve to still love ourselves while loving our kids. It doesn’t make us any less. In fact, it teaches our kids that we respect our health, love ourself, and that we are driven to live the best life possible.
When the mom guilt hits… I am a mom so why am I going on a trip by myself? Why am I thousands of feet in the air? Why did I leave my babies at home when I could’ve brought them with me? Why why why why!
So many thoughts and all negative. All making me second guess my actions. Since becoming a mother, my kids are always my top priority. Rightfully so, but I also should be a top priority. I shouldn’t cast myself to the side while going through motherhood. I matter too.
When my husband booked my trip, I was nervous. Not because I thought he couldn’t do a weekend alone with the kids, that was never a doubt. It was more the fact that I would be gone, enjoying myself while my kids and husband were sitting at home. My mind tells me I shouldn’t go out and enjoy things without my family. My mind tells me that it is wrong. Mom guilt is a thief. Mom guilt steals our joy and happiness in the moments we sometimes need it most. Although I think it is normal to have these thoughts as a mother, I also believe that it is not how we should automatically gear our minds to think. Of course as a mother I am going to have my kids on my mind. But when mom guilt sets in, I need to remind myself that I am allowed to go out and enjoy myself too. I am allowed to buy new clothes, get my nails done, read a book, take a walk in quiet, or even go away for the weekend. Being a mother is amazing. The greatest gifts of all gifts but we are also more than just moms.
We are friends.
We are girlfriends or wives.
We are driven females.
We are passionate dreamers.
We are unique.
We are wonderers.
We are human.
We are more.
That doesn’t make us bad. Being more than a mom is not something we should be ashamed of. I want my kids to look up to me and know that even though I was a teen mom, I kept on pushing. I want my kids to look up to me and know that even though life got busy and kids, work, and marriage, it all did not lead me to loose myself. Instead it pushed me even more to not only be an amazing mother, but so much more. I want my kids, especially my daughter, to know that just because you are a mom doesn’t mean you can’t be more too.
So every time that mom guilt sets in, remember you are more. You deserve things too. Motherhood is beautiful, crazy, and such a blessing but YOU also matter. Don’t let mom guilt be a thief. Go out and treat yourself. Buy a book and spend that quality quiet time with yourself reading. Replace those 5 year old leggings with some cute new pants instead of buying another outfit for your child when you know for a fact your child has plenty of outfits sitting in the closet. Text your girlfriends and plan that girls night. Leave dad with the kids and go walk the store in peace and quiet.
Today, do something for you! And don’t let mom guilt win!
Xoxo
Christian Mulkey
Memories With The Mulkeys 