No matter if you have been married for a year, five years, and twenty-five years, you should never stop dating your spouse.
Not long after my husband and I got married, someone gave me this advice among many other things. I brushed it to the side and didn’t really think about it until about a year after we were married. By then we never went on dates and didn’t have a lot of us time. Yeah I mean we of course we spent time at home as a family but rarely dedicated time for just the two of us. As time went on, I could start to feel it. It’s not that we were having marriage problems or anything real specific, it’s just we began to miss the little moments. We would argue as every married couple normally do but sometimes more often over ridiculous things. I remember talking to that same person about it and she asked if I remembered her advice. I thought back and said of course, but we don’t have the time. She turned to me and said make the time. Make the time. So after our daughter was born and the reality of having two kids along with busy life, I decided to finally make the time. See before kids, it was you and your spouse. You and your spouse are the foundation to your family. So why not make the time to take care of that foundation? Why do so many couples put themselves on the back burner through out the years? I get it, it can be hard. Not everyone has family to help either. But if you do not constantly put in work and effort into a marriage it will slowly crumble over time. Now I am no expert but I can tell you from personal experience that marriage is hard. It’s hard not just because of the obvious but because it’s something you never stop working on. Through different seasons and chapters of life. Through hard times and good times. Sometimes we forget that just because we are married, it doesn’t mean we just get comfortable and forget how we got there in the first place. No, we continue to show love, affection, and how much the other person means to us. We continue to have alone time when we can so the bond of marriage can grow stronger. Having a strong foundation in marriage, even through life, is so important. Not just important, but vital. When I came to this revelation, I began making time. It truly was one of the best decisions we have made since getting married.
Make the time. I went back and fourth on what to do because we really hadn’t left our kids with anyone and I wasn’t really comfortable leaving them alone with anyone but family just yet. We finally decided we would find someone to come babysit after we put the kids to bed and go out to dinner. The kids didn’t notice we were even gone and we got mom and dad time. See here is the thing, before you were parents you were a boyfriend and girlfriend. You had fun dates and fell in love. I think as we get older, start a family, and are busy with work, we begin to forget those days. We begin to forget that the little things like a quick “I love you” note left before work or your significant others favorite treat waiting for them when they get home truly make them the happiest. We stop dating and fall into a cycle. We have to break that cycle and start dating. We have to date our husband or wife just like we did when we were younger. Remember, just because you got married doesn’t mean the dating stops. After a year of making an effort to go on dates after the kids went to sleep, I could really see a difference. It helped our marriage and strengthened our relationship. Being able to wind down after a long week and just have some us time gave us exactly what we needed to be a power couple. We look forward to our time together and it gives us the time to sit down and catch up with each other. We talk about life, what’s going on with work, our future goals, and anything else under the sun. We have now been doing this for almost two years and I am so glad I made the time. We try to go to dinner or even just go around town together every other week. If we can’t get a babysitter, we order take out from our favorite place in town and have a movie night. The kids never even know we are gone and it keeps our marriage alive and healthy. May seem crazy but it really does make a world of difference in a marriage. You dated your spouse to get to marriage, continue to date your spouse to care for your marriage!
So I encourage you to make that time! Dress up and do your make-up. Pick your favorite place to eat or try something new. Talk about life, goals, and dreams. Laugh and flirt! Just have fun and spend some quality time with your spouse!
What is one way you and your spouse still date?