My most controversial parenting beliefs

I’ll be honest, I think I have never been more afraid of a blog topic. A friend of mine suggested it, but I was so scared to share some of my beliefs. Since I became a mom, I have voiced my opinions here and there. When I stepped into the Influencing world I shut down and stopped. Social media can get ugly for us moms. Moms can be ugly and cruel to other moms. But as a friend reminded me, we are all beautifully different and should embrace that. I have changed some of my original (pre-motherhood) beliefs since becoming a mom of two and think that as mothers, we all battle our own battles. We all have different beliefs and ways of doing things, that does not mean one mother is better than the other. It just means we are different. So here we go, my controversial parenting beliefs. Some of these are hard topics for some but this is me.

Happy baby is best, breast or bottle.

I’ve done it all; breast, bottle, formula, pump, and even tube fed for a short period of time. Yes breast milk is healthiest, of course. It’s the most natural. Is it always the best? Nope. Breast milk at times can not have all it should, be impossible due to medications that are medically needed, and even down to the fact it can cause an extreme mental toll on mothers. I whole heartily believe feed your baby how you see fit and as long as the baby is happy, that is all the matters. Happy baby is BEST.

I do not care if my child goes to a 4 year university.

Woah, what did she just say? Yes you read that right. Now by no means does that mean I won’t push my children in life, quite the opposite. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that you should follow your dreams and passions. Did you know that some of the highest paying jobs are not just from going to a university and getting a degree but also trade schools and entrepreneurship’s? Both my husband and I make more than many people who have bachelors and we are doing “jobs” we both love. So instead of pushing my children that college is the “only” option, I wish push them to follow their dreams and teach them about all the possibilities out there.

We vaccinate but I don’t hate those who don’t.

For our family, we are strict on vaccinating. I have seen what can come from not vaccinating. Do I have friends that don’t? Yes, it’s 2019. Although I keep my views to myself on this 99% of the time, I respect others and their parenting choices.

Being a teen parent doesn’t make you any less of a parent.

When I had my son, I was 18 and felt so ashamed. While in the hospital I even had a social worker visit SOLELY because I was a “teen”. Why do we target teen moms? Some of the most kick ass moms are/were teen moms. Instead I think we need to support ALL moms.

Money isn’t everything and my children will learn that.

When our son was born and up until about 2 years ago, we were constantly living paycheck to paycheck. Now that we have better financial stability and money to be able to spoil and spend more frequently with our kids, I also want them to know that money does not mean happiness. There’s no price tag on happiness.

I’m not a strict parent and never will be.

Growing up in a very strict household, I realized how bad that can be. At times I felt like I couldn’t breath and I refuse to do that to my children. Will we still be strict about what’s important like grades, sexual health, and other specific matters? Of course! But I will let our kids hang out with friends, have fun, and live as much of a stress free life until they don’t have us to take care of them. I refuse to hound them as teenagers, they are only young once.

Being open about sex with your children is important.

Every parent is different but for us, this is very important. Bottom line, everyone has sex. It’s natural and although I hope my children save themselves for those they love I also have to realize that sexual health is at the most importance. I want my kids to be able to be open and comfortable enough with me to come to us when they have questions or need birth control/condoms.

Kids are kids, they are not robot humans who have to act perfect 24/7.

I will never be the mom that spanks out of anger when they do something wrong or expect them to act perfect 24/7. Kids are kids. They are literally learning new things every day and have bad days just like us. Yes, my kids misbehave sometimes and that is normal. We have a system that works well for us and I have learned to pick my battles. Sometimes instead of a time out, my son or daughter needs a hug. Don’t we all just need a hug sometimes?

These are just a few of my “controversial” parenting beliefs and have truly shaped me into the mom I am today. I remember becoming a mom thinking I knew it all and although I still have very similar beliefs, some have changed over time. I love motherhood and love how different we each are. We don’t all have to share the same beliefs but we should all support each other! Motherhood is beautiful and crazy, spread love and not hate.

Xoxo

Christian Mulkey

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