Our key to a healthy marriage

Matthew and I began talking when I was just a few weeks shy of 18. We moved fast. We were living together with our son and married a bit over a year later. Sound crazy? Probably, but here we are going on 4 1/2 years. We have had our moments, times I thought we were both going to give up. Marriage is hard enough then throw in kids, life trials, work, financial trouble, and every other fun thing that comes with adulting. We have always been devoted to our kids, I remember at one point not having alone time for months. It began to take a toll on us and I felt the distance begin to separate us. After our daughter was a few months old and on a set schedule, I made a grand plan to finally get a babysitter to come after the kids went to sleep so we could go out to dinner. It was the best decision we ever made for our marriage. And not just because we got to go to dinner every so often, but because we found ourselves again. We get to laugh over good food and talk about our week. We brainstorm about the future and things we want to do. We reminisce about when we first were together and even laugh at some of the hard times. We began dating again. That’s what we had been doing wrong. Never stop dating. More importantly, never stop falling more and more in love everyday.

See the key to a healthy marriage is to fall in love over and over again.

We began truly dedicating ourselves to each other again. We began doing the little things again. The time we spent together had zero distractions. We love our children but let’s face it, it’s a rare time that mom and dad get to actually spend quality time together unless we make the effort to do so. Some may think, “oh we hang out at home or do this and that”. But do you truly dedicated a time to just be together? That is what is important. Life gets busy, but in the end marriage is something you constantly have to work for. Your partner should never feel like he or she is just a cycle in life. Your partner should still constantly be reminded that even though times get hard, you still love them, still think of them and still fall in love constantly even if it’s been 10 or 20 years. I’ll repeat again. Never stop falling in love. It can be the littlest things. A sweet “I love you”. Bring home your partners favorite food or something they have wanted. Renting their favorite movie and putting the phone down. Planning a day away and going on an adventure. Feel lost? Start from the beginning. What did you and spouse love to do when you first got together? What were the little things that put a smile on your partners face? Or maybe try something neither of you have done! Either way, falling in love over and over again will make a world of difference in your marriage. Marriage is not a sentence, it’s a union of love. Treat it so. Put your all into it just like your job, your kids, and yourself. Even when it gets hard, look over and remember that you two are in this world together. To stand together against the good and the bad, no matter what. Love is unbreakable as long as two people never give up.

What do you do to remind your partner you love them?


Christian Mulkey

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