Last week Matthew and I celebrated five years of marriage. If I am being completely honest, sometimes it feels like just yesterday we were standing in the forest I grew up around saying “I Do”. Much has changed since that day though. From a young nineteen and twenty-one year old couple to our much more mature twenty-four and twenty-six year old selves, we have grown so much in the last five years as husband and wife. In the last 5 years, we have moved from a small little apartment to our beautiful home we bought recently. We have worked side by side to grow not just as a couple, but as individuals. We have learned, laughed, argued, and fallen more and more in love. Marriage is a constant learning experience and we have definitely had our fair share of difficult moments, but we have also shared the best days of our lives these last five years. Growing up, I never had a healthy marriage to look up to ever. I knew when we got married I wanted to give our children that. I wanted them to know what a healthy marriage was and be able to look up to it one day when they were adults. No marriage is perfect, but I like to believe that there are still some perfectly imperfect marriages out there… like ours.
We have learned so much the last five years, but more than anything, I have learned to cherish each day with my husband. He is my biggest support and my best friend. When we first got married, so many odds were against us. Yet, here we are five years later happier than I ever believed possible. With that, here are the top five things that we have learned these late five years of marriage.
Never stop dating your spouse
I think so often marriages drift apart for the same reasons that two people came together. When you stop dating, you stop making each other a priority. Don’t ever stop dating your spouse. Make weekly dates a priority no matter if it is at home or out to dinner. Be spontaneous and never forget to remind your spouse just how much they mean to you. They say the honeymoon phase ends, but that is only if you let it.
Marriage isn’t always 50/50
I always heard that a marriage should be 50/50. That could not be any further from the truth. There will be times that you or your spouse are going through something where the other person will lean on you to fill in. Sometimes it may be 50/50, sometimes it may be 30/70, and sometimes it may be 10/90. You are a team, but that does not mean there won’t be times where you have to be the stronger one or the one who picks up more slack. Life has trials and when you are married, you will often have to make sacrifices to help your loved one till they are through the tunnel and back into the light.
Trust is everything
A marriage without trust is a doomed marriage. Harsh? Probably, but it is true. I have seen time and time again when trust issues ruin a relationship. Building trust is so important. Having trust is important. And even if at one point the trust was broken, learn to forgive and let the trust begin to build back up. Everyone makes mistakes, small and big. Having trust in a relationship is vital.
Never go to bed angry.
Resolving arguments and fights before bed are going to happen from time to time. Arguments in a marriage are normal. But going to bed angry never helps. Take time to breath and maybe have some space, but always resolve the problem before bedtime.
Communication is key.
Having healthy communication in marriage is so important to keeping a healthy relationship. No matter if it is communicating needs, something you may not be seeing eye to eye on, or even just your love language, communicating and listening is important. Don’t bottle up your feelings or something that is on your mind. Trust me, it never ends the way you would hope. Remember if your partner is communicating something important, be all ears even if you don’t completely understand.
I am so thankful to be doing life with my husband. We may not be perfect, but I am blessed to have an amazing husband who stands by my side through the good and the bad. He is supportive, loving, and always makes sure that our marriage is a priority.
I hope these tips helped because I know when we got married, we were a bit clueless.
Happy Anniversary baby!