Are we done having kids?

I get asked this more than anything else. “Are you guys going to have one or two more?” “Don’t you want a tie breaker?” “When is the next one?”

Growing up, I always wanted a big family. I love kids and love being a mother. When we had our son I still had the dream of having 3-4 kids although deep down I also only wanted one son. When we got pregnant with our second, I’ll be honest and say I was super scared. I have a deep connection with our son and was so nervous to have more than one boy. I never wanted him to feel like he was any less special to me. My husband was dead set we were pregnant with a girl from the time a line popped up on the test and what do you know, he was right. Our daughter was born in October of 2017 and the moment I set my eyes on her, I felt complete. I’m not sure why, I just instantly felt like our family was done growing and we were complete as four. My husband and I went back and fourth on the idea of keeping our options open, but in reality we both felt the same way. So to answer the famous question, yes we are DONE having kids. I have the copper IUD, although I am not a huge fan of IUD’s. I will actually be getting my tubes removed once both the kids are in school. Once we have the extra money(since it’s not 100% covered by our insurance), Matt will be getting a vasectomy to be double safe! So many ask “What happens in 5-10 years when you have baby fever”? Well, then I’ll have baby fever! I get baby fever even now. Does that mean I actually want more? No, it just means I love kids and babies. My heart is complete with Macyn and McKynleigh, and one day grandchildren.

What else made me done having kids? Honestly, another huge factor is money. It is expensive raising children and I want to be able to spoil my children in every way possible. I love having the freedom of two children while traveling, school expenses, and even cars. I’ve never been the minivan mom type, if I’m being honest with you guys. I have three younger siblings ranging in 8.5-13.5 years younger and although I love them dearly, I also am not a huge fan of the age difference. Some ask, “well what about when the kids go to school having one more?”. I honestly love having the kids close in age and don’t want an age gap. So again, another reason I don’t want more. Lastly, my Lupus. When getting pregnant with Lupus, you always take the chance of fetal heart block and neonatal Lupus. When I was pregnant with McKynleigh, I felt like I lived in the doctors. Multiple specialist a week, constant ultrasounds and heart tests, and a lot of stress up until the baby is 6 weeks old to confirm there is or isn’t a heart block. At one point my blood tests showed some scary things and I couldn’t live with the idea I could possibly give my baby something life threatening from Lupus. It also gets expensive with traveling and doctors. All in all, it was a couple of big factors that played into our final decision. In the end, we are truly happy with our two kids and feel for us as a family, we are complete.

How big of a family do you have or want?


Christian Mulkey

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