We always talk about our before and during, but a lot of people don’t talk about the after. I have been going back and fourth with writing this for a few days. I was nervous to be honest but then again, if I’m not honest what’s the point of my blog in the first place. In January 2018 I dove into Keto and by October 2018 I had lost 100 pounds with eating keto and walking. I felt absolutely amazing and was in better shape then I had ever been. I continued on but then the holidays hit. To make things worse, I took on a lot all at once and began to slowly fall off my keto lifestyle. I went from being super strict to cheating far to often. Then I began cutting back on my work outs so I could work more on my brand and blog. Winter hit and I began feeling myself go back into my old ways. I am the first to admit I’m a stress eater and any time I get stressed or overwhelmed, I turn to food. It’s is by far my WORST trait. A few weeks ago I began to really see it hit my body and I began gaining my weight back slowly. I’m no where near where I was but even 10 pounds feels like a 100 after all the work I put into loosing. I look in the mirror and feel gross. I feel my pants tighter and my body carries water weight more making my face and stomach bloat. I have been down and upset for a couple weeks now trying to overcome the fact I have gained a few pounds. It hits me hard because that thought of ever going back into that unhealthy cycle and above 200 pounds mortifies me. I don’t ever want to be that unhealthy again or that out of shape. See what people don’t talk about is after living in a certain mind set for awhile, it begins to take a toll. I will eat bad and my diet mindset kicks in. Afterward I feel disgusted with myself. I get guilty and hate myself for cheating on my eating. But then I get stressed and eat more. I feel like it’s a constant battle. On Instagram I feel ashamed to be open and have many that look up to me for sticking to keto and loosing the weight I did. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t let down with myself, even if it is 10 pounds. See, here’s the thing. As someone who has battled with my weight my whole life it’s hard to maintain. It’s a constant battle to keep my metabolism going due to having Hashimoto’s diseases and lupus; my metabolism is almost nonexistent at times. I often wish I was one of those girls who could eat whatever she wanted and not gain. That’s just not me and I need to come to terms with the fact I have to put in the work 24/7 to keep my results and maintain my health. Can I have a cheat day here and there? Heck yes, we all deserve it. Do I need to work harder again at keeping up with my exercise and healthy eating? Yes. So I am challenging myself to instead of eating that ice cream when I get stressed to go run that extra mile. I’m challenging you as well, I can’t do it alone. You all helped me enormously through out my keto journey and encouraged me even when I struggled. I owe it to not only myself and my family, but to all of you.