It took me years to gather the courage to break away from toxic individuals in my life. Those who consistently undermined me, knocked me down, and made me feel unworthy. The pivotal moment came when I finally realized just how toxic these relationships were. People often tell me, “But they’re still family,” or “Don’t you miss so-and-so?” Here’s the bottom line: being family doesn’t grant anyone the right to be abusive in any form, whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental.
By the time I was an adult, I had witnessed and experienced more than I ever should have. I was ensnared in a web of control, feeling trapped and unable to escape. Each attempt to break free only seemed to draw me in deeper. I was manipulated into believing it was me, made to lie and act as if something was wrong with me for their benefit.
Growing up, I believed this toxic dynamic was normal – the control, gaslighting, and manipulation. It was a daily struggle of guilt trips, lies, hurtful actions, and a complete lack of boundaries. Although there were fleeting moments of what I considered “good,” they were far outweighed by the bad.
The turning point arrived after the birth of my son, when the situation took a dark turn. I had to make a choice: continue down this unhealthy path or sever ties and embark on a journey of healing. It was an agonizing decision, but cutting out my toxic family was undeniably the best thing I ever did for myself, my family, and my well-being.
Yes, it came at a cost. I lost friends, faced lies, endured disparaging comments, and dealt with constant scrutiny. There were moments of guilt, even though I knew it wasn’t about me. I attempted to mend the relationship, hoping for a healthier dynamic, only to be hurt again and again. Then, I realized that the only way forward was to close that chapter. I severed all communication years ago, and I can say with certainty that it was an immensely healing experience.
In this time, I’ve learned that regardless of what that person says about me, I know my truth and my worth. That’s what truly matters. Over the past seven years, I’ve transformed into the person I am today. I no longer tolerate mistreatment, and I stand up for my beliefs. I’ve become dedicated to helping those in similar situations reach the point I have.
I won’t sugarcoat it – it’s tough when the toxic person is someone who should provide love and support in a healthy way. It’s hard when you look around and that person is absent. But it’s infinitely better than living in constant fear of upsetting them, enduring mental anguish until you can’t even speak.
You are worth more than that. You deserve better. No matter how difficult it is, I implore you to walk away if you’re entangled with a toxic family member. Close that chapter, because when you do, countless new ones will open up.
Starting the Healing Process
Breaking free is just the first step. The journey to healing is an ongoing process. Seek support from trusted friends, therapists, or support groups who understand the challenges of going no contact. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of what should have been a healthy family dynamic. Practice self-care, nourishing both your physical and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you rediscover your identity outside of the toxic relationship.
The Hard Journey, But Worth Every Step
I’ll be honest – this journey is tough. It’s a path of self-discovery, unlearning toxic patterns, and rebuilding your sense of self-worth. There will be moments of doubt, loneliness, and heartache. But with each passing day, you’ll find strength and resilience you never knew you had. The freedom to live authentically and without fear is worth every difficult moment. Embrace the process, and know that you are not alone. Many have walked this path before, and you are capable of emerging stronger, happier, and more whole than ever before.
Embarking on the journey of going no contact with narcissistic family members is undoubtedly one of the most courageous steps you can take towards reclaiming your own happiness and well-being. Remember, healing is a process, not an event. Surround yourself with support, seek out resources, and practice self-compassion along the way. As you continue to grow and rediscover your own strength, know that you are not alone. Many have walked this path before you, and there is a community ready to offer understanding and encouragement. With each passing day, you’ll find yourself stepping into a brighter, more authentic future – one where you are free to be the truest version of yourself. Embrace it, for you are deserving of every ounce of the love and peace that lies ahead.
Xoxo
Christian
Memories With The Mulkeys 